Welcome to Week 4 of the LCA4R!
“I realized that failure was the halfway mark on the road to success, not a destination to be avoided but rather a stepping stone to get what I really wanted in life. Most people get to the sign marked ‘failure’ and they figure they’re heading in the wrong direction, turn around and head back home. They think that success must be back the other way, but it’s not! It’s straight ahead!”
This is an excerpt from the incredible book, “Go For No! Yes is the destination—No is how you get there,” written by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz.
This 74-page tiny masterpiece changed my life and inspired why, through the Academy, we are actively seeking failure, embracing it, and loving it.
“We sugarcoat failing and dance around it and talk about it as if it were death! The best way to desensitize yourself to a word is to use it,” the authors add, “and the best way to desensitize yourself to an action is to do it!”
Pause for a moment and consider this powerful truth…
The best way to desensitize yourself to an action is to do it.
In other words, the best way to suffer less from the possible outcome of an action is to take the action.
We must seek failure in order to overcome the fear of failure.
Or more broadly, we must get uncomfortable in order to get comfortable.
"Where is it written that rejection has to be awful?" the authors continue. "Why can’t rejection be only slightly annoying or amusing or, for that matter, exciting and energizing? While we have absolutely no control over the actions of others, we do have total and complete control over how we react. What if we decided to make each no we received and every rejection we encounter something that empowers us? Instead of avoiding rejection, what if we made the decision to seek rejection? Instead of avoiding no or perhaps simply tolerating it, what if we went out of our way to actually go for no? It’s simple. Rather than setting goals for the number of yes’s you are planning to get each week, you set goals for the number of no’s you’re going to collect.”
Insane concept, right?
Yes, it's something that 99% of the coaches in the world would never consider doing...
But it works.
As a matter of fact, going for no and setting goals around failing has been THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING I'VE DONE with my business.
Nothing has empowered me more and helped me get to a place of fearlessness faster.
Remember Steve Chandler’s great truth about success…
“In all quests for success,” he says, “what people really want is to be fearless.”
For you and me and for our clients as well, that’s really what this is all about.
Being honest, my goal of becoming a world-class coach is actually deeply rooted in my desire to crush my fears and become a realized, powerful person—a true Rebel...
Someone who has decided to make an impact on the world NO MATTER WHAT...
Someone who is not waiting anymore...
Someone who is no longer concerned with what anyone else thinks...
Someone who ignores the fear of failure...
Someone who is untouched and unfazed...
And most importantly someone who takes action regardless of what the mind says.
When you become this someone, you become unstoppable in life.
And this seeking and celebrating failure in order to overcome the fear of it is the most direct approach to becoming unstoppable.
It's the same as the truth that if you want to be a coach, you have to start coaching...
And it's the same as the truth that if you want to create clients, you have to directly offer them an experience of your coaching.
This is the idea of going further faster.
Let me ask you, is this failing on purpose insane idea beginning to make sense?
It doesn't matter because we take action regardless of what our mind says!
One more thing on the topic of doing things that other coaches would think insane to do...
I recently took a call from a friend and fellow coach who wanted to ask my opinion on the new niche he’s working on.
“I want to coach executives who feel stuck in life and need to help moving forward,” he said. “Oh but I was also thinking I might try to coach people who are have experienced significant trauma in their lives and need help overcoming their past.”
“Okay cool,” I said. “And why do you need to be so specific and have a niche?”
He seemed a bit dumfounded and then said, “Having a niche is what my coach taught me is important. And it’s what everyone does.”
Exactly, I thought.
“But what are you going to do when you can’t find more executives who feel stuck in life or people who have experienced significant trauma?” I asked.
He seemed even more dumbfounded, so I explained my theory on niches, which ultimately comes from Steve Chandler, the Godfather of coaching.
Quickly he understood my point, and I believe he may have let go of the need for a niche.
It doesn’t matter, though…
The point is that just because others in the coaching industry are doing it doesn’t mean it’s right…
As a matter of fact, because others are doing it means it’s most likely not right…
Most coaches are horrible, and most coaches are not even coaching. They’re pretending to be coaches on social media, hoping that what they’ve learned from the mainstream “experts” will someday bring them success. But it probably won't. It usually never does.
More on failing in the materials section below.
The Five Failure Levels
Let me offer you more from the “Go For No” book. And since Fenton and Waltz's take on the subject of failing is so epic, I'm going to mostly give you exactly what they say, rather than my interpretation.
“You think that failing leads to failure,” they write. “Failing… and becoming a failure… are two very different things. Successful people fail eagerly while failures avoid failing. The whole point of becoming willing to fail more is to become a success, so that one day you won’t be forced to look back on your life and say to yourself, ‘I’m a failure.’”
“I like to fail…”
“I fail big and I fail often…”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but ‘no’ can never hurt me.”
Powerful affirmations, right?
“I fail big and I fail often” seems like the worst affirmation in the history of affirmations!
I mean, who in their right mind would think and say such a thing?
People willing to become insane in order to succeed, that's who.
Let's get insane this week.
These are the Five Failure Levels. Read them closely. And then think about what level you’re honestly at and what you need to do in order to get to the next level. You'll include this in your weekly coaching report.
Level 1 The Ability To Fail
100% of the people on the planet Earth have the ability to fail… it’s where we all start!
What keeps most people on Level 1 status is their intense desire to avoid any form of failure at all costs. As a result, 800% of all people never move past this basic level.
Level 2 Willingness To Fail
Level 2 people develop the willingness to fail, which means that they come to accept failure as a natural by product of the process of seeking success.
Fewer than 20% of all people make it to Level 2 for any sustained period of time.
Level 3 Wantingness To Fail
Having the wantingness to fail goes beyond mere tolerance or acceptance of failure as a part of life… wantingness means developing the desire to fail with the inner faith that personal and financial growth will follow.
Fewer than 5% of all people ever get to Level 3.
Level 4 Failing Bigger and Faster
The people who ascend to Level 4 are those who have come to the conclusion that if failing is good, then failing faster is better!
And not just failing faster, but if one is going to increase their failure rate, do it going after big goals that are worthy of their effort.
Level 5 Failing Exponentially
The final level is for those rare individuals who understand that massive success requires multiplication of effort.
Level 5 people enlist others to fail with them, knowing that if individual failure means individual success, group failure equals group success!
Steve Chandler on Choosing
This 30-minute Steve Chandler audio on making a choice is amazing. It will help you personally as well as help you help your clients.
People get so stuck not making a choice when all they have to do is choose.
People say they would take action, but..
I don’t know how to...
I don’t know what to...
Or I don’t know who to.
When you say these things, you’re not telling yourself the truth. You’re simply keeping yourself stuck by not choosing.
The act of choosing, says Steve, moves you from inaction to action, and it's always the first step.
Not sure who to connect with? Choose.
Not sure who to invite to a powerful experience of your coaching? Choose.
Not sure what kind of coach you want to be? Choose life coach so you can serve everyone on the planet who's living.
Steve Chandler On The 9 Lies
In this amazing audio, Steve Chandler describes the 9 lies that are holding your business back and the truths that will set you free.
In addition to being a world-class coach, Steve is truly a world-class spiritual teacher. Like his audio about choosing, this audio will help you and help you help your clients.
There are so many incredible nuggets in this!
The 9 Lies
Lie #1—I need to know how to do this.
Lie #2—It takes money to make money.
Lie #3—We just need to get our name out there.
Lie #4—Experience will benefit me.
Lie #5—Lowering prices boosts business.
Lie #6—You have to be tight-fisted.
Lie #7—Customers are hard to figure out.
Lie #8—I don’t need any help.
Lie #9—I’m a victim.
Steve Chandler On A Laser Coaching Call
Enjoy Steve on this group coaching call, answering a multitude of questions, reinforcing much of what we've learned already, and offering us some amazing coaching truths we haven't covered yet.
Pay attention to how Steve doesn’t do much powerful coaching. He’s mentoring, giving information, which makes sense in the context of this call with everyone asking questions.
He says something really important, which is “The only strategy a coach needs is to ask the question who’s next—who can I help?”
Steve also shows us that there literally are tons of opportunities throughout the day to offer to help people. He gave the example of his coach asking him to pull up his email and read him a recent message. BAM! There was an example of someone who wasn’t able to deliver on something and Steve realized that he could’ve offered to help that person.
Realize that we are interacting with people all the time who are undoubtedly giving us “clues” that they need help. We just need to tune in and be listening for it. It’s just a muscle we need to develop.
Steve goes on to say, “Clients are created one person at a time, and their best created through referrals.”
We will talk about referrals next week.
And wait until you hear what Steve says about not charging people!
Rich Litvin How to Coach Someone You Don't Know and Go Deep
After last week's videos, we need to experience Rich more. He's a master.
In this video, Rich talks about two essential steps at the beginning of the call...
Connecting and creating rapport and creating context.
Just so you know, I’ve tried to begin coaching calls in the similar way that Rich does or at least describes in this video, and it didn’t work at all for me.
His process is based on way too much talking at the beginning, and when I tried it, I created a sense of awkwardness on the call.
It might work for Rich, especially in the slow methodical way he coaches, but I don’t think it’s very realistic for most coaches.
This is not to say, however, that his ideas viewed more broadly and articulated more concisely aren’t amazing.
The link to download Rich's 121 questions, which he mentions in the video, is HERE.
Michael Neill's Powerful TEDx Talk
Michael Neill is a world-class coach, NLP expert, speaker, and best-selling author. He's also a dear friend of Steve Chandler and former client, a past student of his Prosperous Coaching School.
Steve often sends this video to prospects and clients to wake them up to the true reality of the human condition. Do the same.
In this video, Michael explains that we don't have fear. We just think we do.
“The projector of mind," he says, "takes the film of thought and projects it onto the screen of consciousness."
He goes on to explain that while it really looks and feels like the thought in our mind is happening, nothing is happening outside of our mind.
What we think is not real. It’s just a creation of the mind...
Just because a thought is in our head doesn’t mean it’s true...
We're not afraid of what we think we’re afraid of—we’re afraid of what we think.
Powerful words and powerful truths from a powerful coach.
Seeking Exciting Clients—A Case Study
This week’s Case Study is very different than the others. Enjoy!
View and download this week’s Case Study HERE.
Homework is due by the end of this coming Monday night.
Post your weekly reports as well as anything else I assign in the Facebook group, please!
Keep Using The Powerful Questions
And the link to a highly recommended book on coaching questions is HERE.
Keeping Adding To Your Stories Journal
This is such an important tool. And if you get behind in developing the habit of keeping up with yours, you will lose powerful coaching stories that can use to inspire future prospects and as well as current clients.
Set a goal of writing three stories a week.
Please understand that they don't have to be about you coaching people or even being coached.
You can write stories about certain helpful things you've learned from podcast, YouTube videos, or anything you experience in life.
You might be connecting with a potential coaching client and say, "Over the past year, I've decided to really go for my dreams. After I made that decision, I signed up for a weekend event, which turned out to be life-changing. Let me tell you what happened and what I learned..."
Then you could talk about how you share what you learned with your clients or how you've become a more fearless person as a result, which helps inspire your clients.
This, of course, is just an example, but the idea is to tell stories. And the first step in doing so is putting into place a system to record and remember them.
My Weekly Report
(Tracking the number of connects is over. We are going to be focusing on No's)
—How many people did you invite to have a powerful experience of your coaching?
—How many coaching proposals did you make this week?
—How many No’s did you get to your invitations or proposals and celebrate? (People not responding doesn't count)
—What fears did you crush this week?
—What failures have you celebrated this week?
—Did you meet with your coaching partner in this week?
—What was the most important insight you experienced from this week’s homework and why?
—What did you find most helpful from this week’s “announcement” posts in our Facebook group and why?
—Thinking back to the Five Failure Levels, what Level are you honestly at, and what you need to do in order to get to the next level?