The Insight Coaching Academy
A 5-month apprenticeship focused on developing the habit of creating clients and coaching powerfully
Welcome to Week 15 of the ICA!
Let’s keep learning and keep coaching for Insight!
And as we do so, remember that with Insight Coaching, what you get is what you see.
What your client gets out of the coaching is what they come to realize.
The 30-Day Connect Game
Let’s continue with our goal of connecting with 1 person a day (or more) on average through the month of January!
Michael Neill’s Supercoach Series
Let’s continue with Michael’s incredible videos that will LITERALLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE…
Actually, the videos won’t change your life, but how you hear and see them and the way you understand them will.
Why Happiness Is Closer Than You Think
The truth on happiness, as Michael talks about in this video, is that there are NO reasons to be happy, but there are ALWAYS reasons to be unhappy, often a nearly unlimited amount.
What happens is that the mind creates conditions in which we tell ourselves, “I”ll be happy when…(this happens),” and then it’s not until these conditions have been met that we allow ourselves to be happy.
We also have all kinds of other conditions that if they’re not met, they cause us to be unhappy.
As a result, we either spend a lot of time unhappy, or we spend a lot of time trying to line up conditions in order to be happy.
And the reality, too, about spending our life trying to line up conditions in a way that will make us happy, is that once we get to that point where conditions are the way we want them to be, we end up NOT THAT HAPPY.
I have so many examples from my life, but one of the biggest ones was getting an Ivy League education. I spent 4 years working tirelessly and endlessly toward this massive life goal, all with the false belief that once I graduated, I would experience enormous happiness. But it quickly faded. It’s just like getting a new car—we’re happy with it for about 2 months, and then the happiness goes away.
But the question with all this great wisdom is… How can we use this with our clients?
And it goes back to asking particular questions. So when we have a client who has these goals, which they all do, we can ask them, “How can you be happy now? What is it that you envision you’ll get with the achievement of your goal? What’s that feeling you seek? What’s the goal behind the goal?”
Take them into the future with that goal, and then ask them, “How can you experience that now?” Because life really is about living now. We spend our whole lives believing that once conditions are perfect we’ll be happy. And the problem with that is we rarely get to that point—conditions are never perfect—but if we do manage to get there, happiness is fleeting. It does not sustain. In part, because we’re already looking into the future again. It’s just like when they interview a professional basketball player moments after winning a championship, and he says, “I can’t wait to win again next year!”
Another reason this model doesn’t work is that we begin to realize that even when we haven’t met those conditions that we thought we had to meet in order to be happy, we often experience times when we’re still incredibly happy.
The truth is that we were born happy, and we have innate well being. There’s no one we need to become, nothing we need to do, and nothing we need to have in order to be happy.
Essentially, we are what we are looking for. We are perfect already. We ARE innate happiness and wellbeing.
So the question, of course, is how do I apply this? And the truth is you don’t have to apply it. There’s nothing you need to do in order to be who you already are.
The Power Of Hope
Michael makes a strong argument for why we suffer and how to get out of it.
You’ve got to find a way to shut the hell up in your mind and find a space for something new, he says.
The one piece of advice Michael would tell anyone to help make their life better is STOP telling your story. Stop arguing for why you can’t have what you want, why you’re not going to do it, or why the world is against you.
The more you stay in hour habitual thinking, the less room there is for something new, fresh, and possible to come through.
Michael also talks about how you can have everything you want in life, you just have to want it.
And the idea is that sometimes we think we want something, but the reality is that we believe we are supposed to have it or that by having it we will feel better. When in fact, we don’t want it at all.
With this truth, the question we can pose to our clients is, “What in your life do you think you want, but you might not actually want?”
Furthermore, coming off this video, with your clients listen for the stories they’re telling that aren’t true or are creating a reality they don’t like…
Because “the story you tell is the life you live… the quality of your life has nothing to do with the reality of your life… it has to do with how you talk about it.”
Michael Neill Actually Coaching
I think this is the best example of powerful coaching we’ve seen so far. Michael is present and brilliant, and through this call we get to see what world-class, Insight Coaching is really like.
More Bryon Katie and The Work
This is a very powerful video, particularly in terms of expectations other people and how they behave.
Remember to use her process of inquiry on yourself and with your clients… this is The Work…
1. Is it true?
2. Can you know absolutely that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
Steve Chandler On How to Help a Pessimist
I can never get enough of these audio’s from Steve! I’ve said this before, but the way he sees things is genius!
Homework is due by the end of this coming Monday night.
Post your weekly reports as well as anything else I assign in the Facebook group, please!
With Referrals, give the gift of your time.
These words… “If you know someone who would benefit from what I do, here’s what I'll do. I will offer them an hour and a half of my time for free and that would be a gift from you.”
My Weekly Report
—Keep taking notes on any insights you or anyone you coach have so that you can share these stories with others later. Sharing stories is a powerful coaching tool.
—Did you connect with 1 person each day on average this week toward your goal of connecting with 30 people this month?
If so, great! If not, you can do more this coming week!
—What’s the biggest insight you’ve had this past week?
—How many people did you offer the gift of your time in the form of a referral?