Living by these 6 Realities will help you make a MASSIVE impact on the world!
I have an incredible coaching client, a passionate and determined woman who reminded me of this great truth of the coaching business.
“As coaches, our job is to do what our clients won’t. Period.”
I'm coaching her as well as teaching her how to become a world-class coach, a life-changer, and creator of miracles in the lives of her clients.
She has a client whose dream job is to design the windows at a boutique furniture and home goods shop in California. Apparently they have beautiful windows.
Her client has a ton of fear, so when they got off the phone, she Googled the shop and then called.
She asked, “Who does your windows?” and then talked to the woman there for a while.
As my client described the story, I got chills. I could hardly wait to find out what happened—what she did for her client.
I told her this, and she told me that it wasn’t even her that made the call.
She said, “It wasn’t me on the phone.”
For her I believe it was almost an out-of-body experience as she found herself calling California to inquire about making her client’s dream come true.
She asked the lady if she would consider hiring her to do the windows, and the lady said she would.
“I’m in so deep at this point,” she told me.
In the end, she tells the lady, “Maybe I’ll pop in and give you my card one day.”
At that moment, I felt so inspired I began crying.
It was an incredibly heroic act, in my view—a true example of what coaching is about.
As coaches our job is to do what our clients won’t—what they won’t and what they can’t because the fear is too great.
Our job is to be fearless for the sake someone else, regardless of the fear we feel.
And when you do this, you find that being fearless for others is the path to the most extraordinary sense of fulfillment, one that brings chills through your entire body and drives you to lean further into your own fears.
Our job is to be fearless because that’s what people really want, and that’s what people really need.
That’s what the world needs, actually.
What the world needs are people who are willing to become fucking fearless for the sake of others, and in doing so ultimately free themselves.
My client said, “I Googled the shop and picked up the phone and called because if I can’t do that then I can’t coach.”
“Her fear of starting is my fear.”
I have a dear friend who is constantly working. And I want to share with you what I shared with her.
You don’t have to work so hard. There is a way to work less and make more money, while being more fulfilled.
Napoleon Hill, to paraphrase, says riches in large quantities never come from hard work... they come from ideas.
There is an idea available that would change your life.
We didn’t come this far to have to trade time for money.
We didn’t come this far to do a bunch of crap we don’t want to do.
￼Because life’s too short to keep f*cking around.
That’s my motto.
And when I say, “we didn’t come this far” I mean that we didn’t overcome all the crap we’ve overcome and deal with all the crap we’ve dealt with in our life just spend most of our time doing what others expect us to do, doing what we think we need to do, or doing what we don’t want to do.
We were not made to suffer, and there’s a way out. I know the way.
And I also know what it’s like to suffer.
I know what it’s like to wake up every day and want to die.
I know what it’s like to be penniless.
And I know what it’s like to be parent less at a very young age.
So I know what I’m talking about.
And I say to you that if you want help, let me know.
And this in no way is an attempt to make money or try to sign you up for something.
It’s me in this moment feeling a little bit frustrated by people’s lack of awareness about the true nature of reality and what’s possible.
Had a friend reach out to me, a guy who’s new to coaching, asking whether or not he should pursue a particular client.
“I’m scared that I don’t know what I’m doing yet,” he said. “Any advice?”
“Yeah,” I responded.
“There’s no way to do it. So you do it anyways.”
I explained that with coaching, you lead and guide the client and simply try your best…
And in doing so you fail because you don’t live up to the perfectionist standards your mind has created…
And by not being perfect you succeed.
Action is succeeding, while inaction is failing. There’s nothing else.
He got what I was saying and was ready to take action!
See, we get so caught up in “The How.”
“How do I do it,” we ask ourselves, and then the question becomes a defense mechanism against taking action and ultimately causes us to become so practical that we limit ourselves.
Most people want to do more in life, yet most people are stuck, focusing too much on “the how.”
What if we stopped asking how? What would happen?
It would force us to take action and act as if we already know how.
And as a result, we would fail…
And we would succeed…
And we would feel stupid…
And we would feel great…
And in the end we would come to understand that…
There is no way to action. Action is the way. And action always equals outcome and always leads us to success.
I’ll tell you from personal experience that nothing feels better than being in action. It trumps everything else.
“There’s a redemptive power that making a choice has, rather than feeling like you’re at effect to all the things that are happening. Make a choice—just decide what’s it’s going to be, who you’re going to be, and how you’re going to do it.”
What’s your decision?
What are you going to create?
Who are you going to be?
How are you going to do it?
My experience through life thus far has taught me one life-shattering and future-altering truth…
I am creation and creator…
And that I’m one decision away from creating anything I desire.
One decision is all it takes to begin today to live differently—to live a different and more fulfilling life.
When is NOW the best time to change?
When I do get to a point at which I’m done playing small, done dealing with all the nonsense, done living this limited life based on limiting beliefs?
To be completely honest, when I look at my own life lately I think to myself, “In every way, I’m limited. I could be doing so much more.”
Within the Rebel brand, Rebel Rule #1 is “I have decided to make an impact on the world NO MATTER WHAT.”
“Making an impact” has different meanings for different people, but basically it means that you’re committed to achieving your goals—whatever they are.
“No matter what” is a powerful attitude and affirmation because it leaves no room for going back—it’s about burning all bridges of possible retreat…
I’m going to be successful in the end NO MATTER WHAT. That’s it. There’s no other way. There’s no backup plan. I don’t give my mind a chance to convince me of something different.
And “I have decided” is the ultimate truth about the nature of our reality…
WE are in charge…
I get to decide, as Will Smith says, on what’s it’s going to be, who I’m going to be, and how I’m going to do it.
That’s it. There’s nothing else. It’s very simple.
I AM IN CHARGE. I CREATE MY OWN REALITY…
To be completely honest again, when I look at my own life lately, I think to myself, “I created all of this. Nothing outside of me created it. Everything I see is a reflection of what my mind created through my consistent thoughts, feelings, and actions.”
And this can be good news and bad news.
There’s a great why statement I created earlier this year after reading Simon Sinek’s book, “Start With Why.”
I use the statement to drive my actions both in my personal as well as professional life.
“Life’s too short to keep f*cking around.”
So what am I willing to do differently? What am I willing to give up to go up? What am I no longer going to tolerate?
Ask yourself these powerful coaching questions regularly, and watch your life transform before your eyes.
Been sober over 10 years and still participate within the recovery movement—and what I’ve found is that the same problem which plagues alcoholics and addicts plagues the rest of the world…
And that’s fear.
Becoming fearless or at least less fearful is my mission in life, and it’s the idea behind my coaching business and brand, Rebel Against Yourself.
This fear from which we all suffer is mostly the result of one condition, something that most people never talk about…
The disease of perfectionism.
And it’s a disease because it kills dreams.
It makes taking consistent action nearly impossible.
Without making you read all about my view on the subject, I want to offer you the following 9 principles, or perhaps more appropriately described, 9 commitments, which come from the recovery movement.
A coaching client of mine gave them to me this morning, and they’re amazing.
If all you ever do for the rest of your life is try your best to maintain these attitudes and take these actions, you would slowly overcome the fear that limits you and ultimately live a fuller, and more satisfying life—just for today, one day at a time.
In other words, this stuff is gold!
Just for today—I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today—I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Just for today—I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today—I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today—I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do—just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today—I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice, low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
Just for today—I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today—I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today—I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Over here at the World-class Rebel Coaching Command Center, where we support people in crushing their fear of failure, which is the single most detrimental fear, keeping them from trying and thriving in life, we have white boards—8 directly in front of me on the wall and a huge one to my right.
On one of them, I have a list of my limiting beliefs alongside my unlimited beliefs—the beliefs I want to remind myself to remember instead of the limiting ones.
Conscious creation begins with just that… a consistent process of reminding myself that “I’m possible” rather than “it’s impossible.”
And it’s about reminding in the sense that I must remember what’s possible because I forget—we forget…
And it’s about re-minding myself—I must continuously refine and train my mind to believe what’s possible.
Napoleon Hill, in the most important self-help book ever written, Think & Grow Rich, most famously says, “What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”
That’s it—there’s nothing else…
I conceive of what I want in life, and then I take action to believe I can achieve it…
I make lists of my unlimited beliefs…
I create a vision board with all my goals in picture form…
I use affirmations and incarnations and I commit to an everyday-no-matter-what spiritual practice…
I do whatever I can to stay focused on what I want to achieve because “What I think about I become—what I focus on I find.”
This is Rebel Reality #1—the Rebel Realities being the latest addition to the Rebel Against Yourself brand—and it’s the essence of the nature of our reality.
What you think about you become. What you focus on you find.
That’s it—there’s nothing else.
Through this process of dream achievement and self-realization, my main goal is each day—which I don’t always achieve by the way—is to stay focused on what I DO WANT rather than WHAT I DON’T WANT.
That’s it—there’s nothing else.
And do you know what I don’t do when it comes to goals?
I don’t get stuck on HOW I’m going to achieve them.
Asking how is one of the biggest barriers to success. It’s a dream a killer, a way for your mind, the mind you must rebel against, to keep you from taking action.
If you want to know HOW to do something, Google it.
And just so you know, powerful world-class coaching is not about HOW…
Consulting is about HOW.
Powerful world-class coaching is about WHAT and WHY…
“What do you want to create in your life? Why haven’t you created it yet? Let’s go deep and find out.”
I think I’ve always been challenged when it comes to believing I deserve better or deserve more. Maybe I was born that way, or maybe I was raised that way.
I coached someone one time who didn’t believe we deserve anything—that everything in life must be earned.
Her life, then, reflected that belief. She had to work really hard and didn’t have a lot.
I don’t know what we deserve, but I do know that what we get is what we believe.
So when I was newer to coaching, I began recognizing in my clients the same limiting beliefs I held in myself, and I decided to believe differently.
And in terms of deserving, I decided to believe that I deserve better and I deserve more.
And since a belief is just a thought we continue to think, I began a regular practice of repeating the following affirmation every day so that over time I would believe it…
“I deserve to live an incredible life of my own creation—for all I’ve been through and overcome and for all I now do to give back to the world—I deserve it and I live it!”
And do you know what happened?
I came to believe it.
And then do you know what happened?
I came to live it—I’m living an incredible life of my own creation.
Because I deserve it—for all I’ve been through and overcome and for all I now do to give back to the world!
Use my affirmation.
It works if you work it—if you consistently use it to train your mind.
This is the essence of Rebel Against Yourself.
We all have a part of our mind that wants to keep us stuck in life…
And the only way out is to make a decision to be in charge of our mind and then begin to systematically take charge through the repetition of more empowering statements, thoughts, and eventual beliefs.
That’s it—there’s nothing else…
Develop the habit of regularly asking yourself, “Is what I’m thinking, saying, or believing serving my higher purpose or sabotaging it?”
And if it's not, change it!
Because what you continue to think, say, and believe is your reality - it becomes your life.
Somehow I suddenly found myself reading Rabindranath Tagore—the great early 20th Century Indian writer—and came across this.
It is the answer I wasn’t seeking to the question I wasn’t asking.
Why do we, as humans, seek to find and love one another? Why are we so curious in our ever-longing for love?
Because what we are searching for, in my view, is God, and we find God in love.
Some of the world's truest of spiritual truths come from India... you know? Because the sages lived in the forest, away from the world.
(From the book, Sadhana - The Realization of Life)
Feeling so good today. Just got off the phone with one of my coaches, a health coach actually, but he helps me with everything.
And in our conversation he asked me how I can be less self-seeking in my personal relationships as well as how I can implement what I do as a coach into them.
Self-seeking, to my eyes, is wanting others to think and act like I think and act.
It’s a painful process, especially because it doesn’t work! I know all about it.
And what I do as a coach is serve. My job is to be of service, while expecting nothing and being open to everything.
So my answer, then, to the powerful question posed to me by my powerful coach was…
"With life and with those I love, I can be bold, be fearless, and be service-centered."
Bold is about taking a risk…
It’s an attitude as well as a commitment…
And it’s a willingness—a willingness to fail.
Fearless is about no longer allowing the thoughts and feeling of danger or pain or threat to keep me from taking action...
Fearless is taking action regardless of what I think or feel, knowing that it’s all working out anyway...
Fearless is the expression, “It’s all good baby!”
And service-centered is about being focused on giving rather than taking and making…
Service-centered is a way of life based on the spiritual truth that the more I give the more I receive…
That all I want is just on the other side of giving what I cherish the most, usually my time…
It’s almost always about giving my time.
Again, then, the answer to my challenge of making it all about me is...
With life and with those I love, I am bold, I am fearless, and I am service-centered.
What an amazing affirmation, attitude, and way of life—I hope I’m up for the task!